There is one question that every man has always asked, and still does, since time immemorial – what does a woman want in a man?
Now this seems like a tough question. After all, women are mysterious creatures—who’s to say what a woman is like and who knows what’s going on in their minds? But when you get down to it and ask women what they really want from the men in their lives, it’s not all that complicated.
Finding your person is no easy task. And sometimes it feels like the dating pool is filled with too many frogs, and not nearly enough princes. Oh! You think that good looks, fame, and fortune are what women today are seeking in a man? Guess again! In terms of what women actually want in the guy they hope to spend the rest of their lives with, it’s imperative to look past the superficial and focus on what’s truly important in a relationship. Naturally, every woman is different and every man is too, but when it comes to their very own Prince Charming there are some inherent qualities that women want from men they’re in a relationship with that come up time and time again.
Don’t let that thought worry you. You already have everything women want in a man; you just need to know how to bring out the best parts of yourself. Whether you need to know how to get a girlfriend or want to be a better man to the woman you’re already with, in this article you will know how to tap into the parts of yourself that is exactly what women want in a man.
This post is packed with advice to help you be what women want in a man. In this two part series, allow me to leave you with a few tips for how best to transform into the Romeo you always desired to be!!!
…Because it seems like there is an endless list of things women want from their guy… but really, for most of them, the list isn’t that long.
Based on a research regarding women’s friendships and the ways that people can most effectively maintain healthy connections over the long-term. It has been observed that, the qualities women seek in heterosexual romantic partners, male friends, and men in general, are not all that different from what they seek in a friend. This makes sense: Any good relationship is built on some basic, down-to-earth qualities.
Now let’s take a look…
Women don’t need partners who invest all their energy in trying to prove how strong, manly, masculine, macho, or heroic they are. They just want men who are willing to meet them where they are and treat them fairly and equitably — and are able to make sure that the romantic spark keeps burning.
The traits that women tend to value and need most from the men in their lives can be categorized in three discrete areas: moral integrity (from all men); relational sensitivity (from friends and partners); and satisfying intimacy (from romantic partners).
Traits of Moral Integrity Respect
Respect is earned, honesty is appreciated. Trust is gained. Loyalty is returned. And in order to have a healthy, happy, and successful relationship, both partners have to care about each other deeply, admire each other, and treat each other with the utmost reverence and respect. If a woman feels taken for granted, dispensable, or treated poorly by a man, she’ll likely drop him in a heartbeat in order to avoid a broken heart down the road. By showing a woman you care about her and giving her the respect she deserves, she’ll be even more drawn to you.
Show respect even to people who don’t deserve it; not as a reflection of their character, but as a reflection of yours.
Personality is the tip of the iceberg that someone shows you, character is their own true foundation. When a man is honest and trustworthy, he instantly becomes more appealing and desirable to a woman. Regardless of the relationship and how serious or casual it may be, women need to be able to trust the person they’re with. For instance, if he’s dependable, truthful, genuine, and speaks from the heart, this is a guy who is worth pursuing, as people can take him at his word. On the flip side, if a man is dishonest, unreliable, and deceitful, this kind of shady and shifty behavior isn’t attractive, and she won’t waste her time or energy on a man who simply can’t be trusted. . It’s not easy to lend your trust to another person, and for women, it can be even harder. For a woman to trust a man is a really big thing. Remember relationships are about trust, if you have to play detective, then it’s time to move on. If you can’t be forthright with a woman, she won’t think you’re right for her.
Integrity is choosing your thoughts and actions based on values rather than personal gain. Having integrity means acting virtuously and having a strong moral character. Women desire a man who is honorable, fair, and ethical, as it’s a reflection of who he is as a person. For instance, if you can be counted on to act in a just way and to do the right thing, women will be drawn to your strong moral principles and know that you’re a man with a good heart. In terms of relationships, having integrity can help strengthen the bond that you have with a woman, as your moral principles will guide your behavior and help you to be the best partner that you can be. Be the same person privately, publically and personally.
Self confidence is the most attractive quality a person can have. How can anyone see how great you are if cannot see it yourself? When a man believes in himself, knows who he is, and knows what he wants, this is very appealing to a woman. However, it’s important to note the key distinction between having high self-esteem and having an over-inflated ego. While women want a man who is confident and self-assured, they don’t want a man who is overbearing. Being confident means being comfortable with who you are and believing in yourself and that you’re worth it. Women will respond to the positive and upbeat energy you’re putting out in the world if you’re able to see your own value and that you have a lot to offer.
Independence can mean a few different things, but each one checks a box off the list of what women want in a man. Emerson’s vision of a self-reliant man is one we can all learn a thing or two from. Women want a man able to stand on his own two feet, to make up his own mind, and to stand by his values. Paying your own bills is half the battle which is one aspect of independence, the other aspect is the ability to be yourself. Insist on yourself, never imitate. Have your own interests and hobbies, and respect her need to have her own too.
A woman wants a man who can put a smile on her face. Making her smile is much easier when you’re smiling too. Be the energy you want to attract. Remember to pay attention to the positive things throughout the day. Make it your goal to have at least one positive moment to share at the end of every day.
Strong communication skills are a must in any relationship, so you’d better believe it’s what women want in a man. One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say. So, to be a great communicator you’ve got to listen just as well as you express yourself. Make your thoughts known, but make sure you appreciate her thoughts, too.
Despite how open, peaceful, and loving you attempt to be, people can only meet you as deeply as they’ve met themselves. This is the heart of clarity. Relationships can be extremely confusing for a variety of reasons. It’s hard to be open and honest about what you want, because what if it’s not what the other person wants? It can be extremely intimidating to share how you’re feeling in the beginning of a romantic relationship, and to be clear about what you want. But clarity is something that many women want from the man they’re with, and it’s directly tied to trust. If a man is trying to dodge answering a question by being unclear, it’s confusing and even hurtful. It’s much better to admit what you don’t know or confront an uncomfortable truth about how you feel. The woman will respect you for it and trust that you’re being honest and straightforward with her.
When women consider having a relationship with a man, they think about introducing him to her friends. Give your couch a rest every once in a while and go hang out with friends. Show her your friendly side and she’ll have no problems bring you around her friends.
Beauty is attractive, but there is nothing more attractive than talent and intelligence. Any girl worth being with counts intelligence in the top 5 of what women want in a man. Show her that you can challenge her and stay informed. Be the sapiosexual. Read a book every once in a while… not only will it make you a smarter man, it will also make you far more attractive to her.
A Sense of Humor
Remember you are a living proof that God has a sense of humor, and you certainly don’t need to be a stand-up comedian or a joker to capture the attention of a woman. But having the ability to goof off, joke around, and have a sense of humor is highly appealing. If you exude a happy, lighthearted, and positive energy into the world, women will want to be around you because they know they’ll have a good time and are guaranteed to smile when you’re together. Laughter is a key component of a healthy relationship, and being able to find the humor in different situations is actually what makes you a great find. In the words of William Ward, a well developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life.
Complacency has never been an attractive quality. A touch of ambition will make your own life more challenging and satisfying… and it’s magnetic to women. Constantly improve yourself, develop your skills, and always strive for you best. The best women will find it irresistible. Everybody has a dream, but not everyone has a grind.
Don’t worry mate, most women aren’t holding for a man with sculpted abs. Women are much more gracious in that sense. However, putting effort into your physical health attracts women because it’s a sign that you respect yourself. And fitness has no age limit. So, start exercising more regularly and you’ll be astonished at your improved physique combined with your added confidence.
Hmmm….now all this can seem a little daunting to begin with. In short, to be a good man, you need to be funny, dependable, and confident and you have to listen!
Well, yes, actually. But, fortunately, none of these requires being a manly man. It just requires being, down to earth. In the attitudinal sense, be self assured of what you are and what you do. It requires self-possession. Seems like women think that being in control of your energies and appropriately channeling them is the path to greatness. Calmness may be the right move in one situation. Totally freaking out may be the right move in another. But you can be self-possessed while exhibiting either of these qualities.
Now that I have piqued your interest, the other two traits, relational sensitivity and romanticism will be discussed in the next issue. In the meanwhile let me leave you with a few words from the heart of a woman…these words are a prologue for what’s in store for the next issue in this two part series. Stay tuned!!!
This is the paradox of love and desire.
As a woman, she needs you to love her, but the reality is that by loving her, you as a man, may begin to desire her less. She knows when it happens; she feels it when your desire shifts to responsibility. At that moment, she finds herself questioning her worth in silence. She finds herself craving your hands on her body instead of on the keypad of your phone. That intimate space which you both shared earlier filled with desire and lust is now filled with comfort. That space makes her wonder, am I enough?
She does not ponder over the love you have for her but she does feel confused if she is worthy of your sexual desire. She does not ask you to lust for her, then that would be akin to force. That would heighten the pressure in the relationship and increase responsibility. It would cause everything to dim like a candle’s flame with no air. She wants the candle of the relationship to burn passionately.
Lo! she stands in front of you, a man that she loves and begs not for comfort, but only for desire.
She wants you to feel free; she wants you to see her from new eyes. She knows that desire requires imagination and curiosity.
She’s a woman. She desires you. She wants sex. She wants lust and passion.
But the world tells her to silence this request. The world tells her that she should be happy with love. But her heart demands- she needs both with you.
She craves a passion that dances between closeness and proximity. Step with her into a new dance between love and desire. She wants to find you in her imagination and in her reality. She wants you to find yourself in her heart and in her body. She wants to explore and be explored.
But the world tells her to hush. The world tells her to be happy with a man that loves her because that should be enough.
And for all the women out there who harbor this innate desire deep in your hearts, I hope this request reaches every man in their silence…
Desire her, even if only for a minute. Dance with her, find that special rhythm which allows you to find space for desire. Let your romance be an adventure, but built on closeness. Let your intimacy be as bold as your independence.
Desire her, because, without desire, you have silenced a world within your own bodies. Look at her with new eyes and she will do the same.
She wants you to desire her. That is what her eyes scream, but her mouth won’t speak.
– The Saint